A (somewhat) interesting article written by Sam Brett? How can this be so? Yet when I read her most recent article (see http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/blogs/ask-sam/would-you-rather-your-man-pay-for-it-than-have-an-affair-20120129-1qo4z.html) I was surprised that she has hit on a topic that interests me and is not her usual drivel. She talks (vaguely) about the number of men in committed relationships who pay for sex from sex workers. She writes
“…when staggering stats were released in Britain indicating that one in 10 men had paid for sex, the coupled-up femmes of the world were in a flutter.
"Surely this isn't so?" they said. "Are men really that into sex that they need to get some on the side?"
Sadly, the answer is a resounding yes.
The survey revealed that, of the 10 per cent of men who said they paid for sex on a regular basis, many were married or in stable relationships.”
I like how she says “sadly”. Why is this sad? What’s sad is that our society places monogamy on such a pedestal that men who do choose to visit sex workers have to keep it a secret from their wives.
There are plenty of men out there who want to be in committed, monogamous relationships. There are also plenty of men out there who want to be in committed relationships, but keep things from turning sour by, once in a while, experimenting with sex with another person. If they were honest to their partners about this, and they talk about the reasons why, then I believe that it doesn’t constitute as “cheating”. I’m totally open to the idea of swinging as long as boundaries are firmly set in place. If I found out a partner of mine had paid for sex, I would be more upset about the non disclosure, rather than the sex act itself (provided that they didn’t contract an STD).
An affair, however, where a person in a relationship is seeing someone else behind the others back and developing emotional intimacy with the mistress, is a totally different ball game. I’ve never had a partner cheat on me (that I’m aware of) in this manner, but if they did, I would still consider forgiving them. I guess it would depend on the circumstances.
Wow, you’ve reached the end of another pointless rumination. Go you!