Monday, 22 October 2012

Three things that all men do!

A little light-hearted post to get all the ladies giggling (and nodding their heads furiously!) Here are three things that ALL MEN DO (except for my father, but he’s Swiss, so he’s less man and more efficiency loving, money stingy half man half punctuality-cyborg)....

1)      Leaving coins EVERYWHERE! I don’t know why, but men have an insatiable urge to litter their entire house with small bundles of coins from their pockets. Every time they venture out of the house, they return with a new pool of shiny metal that must- must dear God!- be placed in a different location to all the other little stacks of silver that lie around the house. To get a jar; a plate; a shoe, and place all their coins in there; a convenient central location where they can then select coins from for that time when they need $3.00 for a coffee and don’t want to break a note- somehow this concept is incapable of being comprehended by the modern man...

On the other hand, maybe this isn’t an affliction of all men... Just men until they have school age children who start to steal their piles of coins from around the house to buy zooper doopers and ovaltinees and all that other garbage from school canteens. I bet dads become much more coin savvy very quickly!

2)      Have a collection of empty deodorant bottles. Men, for some reason kept secret from women, must collect deodorant bottles and store them away for some forthcoming apocalypse. Empty ones; not ones that are actually of any use. But within this behaviour there are subtle differences among men... these differences, I am sure, point to some crucial hierarchy come Judgement Day, a hierarchy I am yet to figure out (but will). The hierarchy goes:
-        Men who keep their roll on deo in the bathroom collect LESS empties (usually only one or two)
-        Men who keep their roll on in their bedroom collect slightly more (three to four)
-        Men who use spray deodorant keep the most empties – I once counted five empties and two half used at a shag’s house. Men who use spray deodorant NEVER keep it in the bathroom, for reasons yet to be determined. I’m convinced manufacturing of bombs out of the empty cans has something to do with it.....

3)      I forgot the third thing I was going to say. Please leave a comment and remind/inspire me. Women everywhere, let’s keep this list growing of weird and wacky things that ALL MEN DO!

(Coming soon- guest post by a mate concerning three things that ALL WOMEN do; just to be even :-)  )